As Long as I Have You
by WonderPickle
Summary: Toby and Happy have the results from the clinic. Quintis one-shot. Based off the third sneak peek for 4x16.


**so I watched the sneak peek and I just had a sinking feeling that this is not going to be good for Hap and Toby. but that's just me. so them actually going to the doctor? canon. but every other detail is from my imagination, I don't know what'll actually happen.**

* * *

Happy banged harder. And did it again. And again. And again and again and again. The same motion she'd been repeating for over an hour.

The metal was already perfectly straight. Even a non-genius could tell that much. But she needed something to occupy her hands, she needed something to distract her, and, most importantly, she needed something to fix.

She felt like she did on the day of Cabe's trial. But worse.

And she imagined it was how normals felt in similar situations. Helpless and overwhelmed, confused over how to deal with it all. Years ago, her walls prevented feeling anything. She didn't have to suffer. And although opening up was undoubtedly worth it, sometimes she forgot how much stuff like this sucked.

Now she wasn't exactly sure what to do or how to handle it. After getting the results from the doctor, Happy and Toby had their moment alone. Tears and staggered breaths in between reassuring hugs. He didn't have to say anything, but she knew he was kicking himself. Cause she wasn't the infertile one. He was.

He stormed off when she pulled up to the garage, and she hadn't seen him since. He wasn't gambling, she could be sure of that, but he got angry and went for a drive. However Toby needed to deal was fine with Happy. Although, that wasn't to say she didn't feel a little disappointed for him to do it without her. But she knew it was only fair, considering all the times she'd done it to him.

It was just a lot. Frustration and some sort of grief pounded against her skull like part of her heartbeat. She couldn't shake it. She had to sit in it, mulling the day over.

Somebody placed a pair of hands on the edge of her workbench. She recognized them immediately. They were too wrinkled and calloused to be Toby's, or anyone else's besides Cabe's.

"Hey, kid."

Happy didn't need her husband's expertise to know why he was there. The whole team figured out from Happy's worse-than-usual attitude and Toby's absence that something went wrong at the fertility clinic. Secrets didn't exist in the garage.

She tilted her head and kept working. "Not in the mood to talk, Pops."

"I think you are."

Happy tried to hide the look she felt forming behind her features. "If I had something to say, I would say it."

Cabe raised his eyebrows at the edge of her vision. "C'mon. I know you better than that."

Running her tongue slowly over her lips, she sighed. She raised her eyes towards his. Despite what Cabe may have meant to her, he was no the person she wanted to share the particular conversation with. "I'm not up for talking about it." She lowered her voice. "Not yet, anyway."

Cabe gave her a mix between a frown and a smile. She didn't know if it was supposed to be reassuring. "Then talk with the doc. I don't like seein' you like this. None of us do."

Happy pressed her lips together and slightly nodded. As he started to go, she glanced around at her colleagues. Walt was staring in her general direction, but not focused directly on her. Sly's eyes darted anywhere else besides her as soon as their gazes met. And Paige looked like she usually did when she was being supportive.

Happy leaned her head back, dropping her tools on her workbench. Admittedly, she appreciated their concern. That was a pro to everyone knowing everyone else's business in Scorpion. But none of them were who she wanted, or needed, to talk with.

She slipped her phone out from her back pocket, slightly disheartened at the lack of notifications from Toby.

She sent him a text, and he responded immediately. _Heading back. Be there in a few._ Her reply told him to meet her on the roof. After he agreed, she abandoned her work for a breath of fresh air.

* * *

Toby was mad at himself for a lot of reasons. Mostly, because he failed Happy as her husband. She wanted a family, she wanted a family with _him_ , but he couldn't even provide that. And he'd promised her for so long it would happen. Every one of her concerns he countered with a reassuring promise. Then it turned out not to be true. And he couldn't help the feeling that he'd lied to her for all that time. When she suspected the shoe was on the other foot, he had to keep her from breaking. But it was his problem that caused her the pain in the first place. She believed the fault fell to her when it was really his.

And she deserved better. Happy Quinn deserved the world, and he couldn't give it to her.

 _Then_ he left her alone. So wrapped up in his own damn head, Toby took a drive. All he thought about was being a screw up, ignoring the fact that he screwed up _again_ by taking time away without her. It was just stupid and selfish. Healing together was better for the both of them than struggling apart. But the guilt altered his perception, and he was kicking himself for _that_ , along with everything else.

The feeling only worsened after she texted him. Toby just hoped what he'd picked up during his trip helped ease her anger.

Huffing a breath from his cheeks, he climbed the final stairs and pushed the door to the roof open. Happy stood, with her back facing in his direction, at the opposite end. His heart clenched.

She turned at the sound of his entrance. The only other audible noise was the wind, but he felt like he could hear the slow rhythm of her heart, in sync with his.

Underneath his hat, Toby wrinkled his forehead, prepared for her wrath. She walked to him immediately, picking up the pace with every step. As she got in arms' reach, he flinched. But she didn't slap or punch him into next week. She slithered her arms underneath his and melted into his chest. She held tight. Though confused, he didn't hesitate to return the hug.

His hands clasped around her back. Like a lock and a key, their bodies clicked into place. The top of her head tucked under his chin, face pressed against his shirt. He nestled comfortably along her smaller frame, a practiced art of its own.

"I'm sorry."

It caught him off guard-the exact words he had on the tip of his own tongue coming from her first. Her statement sounded pent up and chewed on, not a spur of the moment thing. Which was nuts, cause she had nothing worth apologizing for or chastising herself over.

He ran a soothing hand over her crown of hair. "Happy, why are you sorry?"

"I let you go," she muttered.

"Oh, hey," Toby promptly peeled himself away, only enough for their eyes to meet without complete detachment, "no, no, no. Me taking an unwarranted hike is absolutely not your wrongdoing, okay? No way, no how."

Her tone carved his guilt like a bleeding tattoo in his heart. "I'm here, Toby." She swallowed. "However you need to do this, I'm here."

"Happy...baby, I know."

She hugged tighter. "I don't want you thinking this whole thing is your fault."

The right corner of his mouth dipped downwards. "It's my hot dog, not your bun. If my gooty can't do the duty, blame falls to me."

"You can't beat yourself up over genetics."

"My problem is my fault. It's only fair."

Happy squeezed her arms around him. "If this were reversed, you wouldn't let me take the heat."

"Don't go turning this on me."

She inched back slightly to frown. "I'm _serious_ , doc. You know you can't pin this on yourself."

"I can," Toby replied with an equal tone, "because it's my fault."

Happy looked at him in a way that made something in his core jolt. " _Listen_ to me. Impregnated or not, I still love you. And I'm not gonna stop just because a baby isn't happening. So whatever crap your self-sabotaging brain is trying to pull? Give it a rest."

She was right. The science behind their misfortune did not, in fact, point to his actions as the culprit. But he was still guilty. He wished he could wrap her up in a bandage and make everything better. "I'm just sorry I couldn't give you the family you've always wanted."

"At least we've got each other."

He felt a sigh of relief settle in somewhere, and he kissed her temple. His eyes dropped closed with the peace he derived from her. "At least we've got each other," he repeated.

"'Sides," Happy said slowly, "there are always other options."

Toby popped open his lids. "So...I guess now would be the right time to tell you I picked up some adoption forms while I was out?"


End file.
